“We have met the enemy. And he is us.”
— Walt Kelly
If you’ve lived long enough, you’ve come to understand that the enemy isn’t always someone else. The problem, many times, starts and ends with us.
We all have self-defeating patterns that need to be defeated. These patterns are entrenched ways of operating. They are unhealthy blind spots. Here are a few of mine:
• I overvalue work and undervalue relationships
• I wrongly assume I always have the right answer
• I lash out in anger
• I tend to overcommit
The way to defeat self-defeating patterns is to first know what they are, and second, stay mindful of them daily. Yes. Daily.
You’ll need some daily trigger that helps remind you about some of your most toxic mindsets. I use an app on my phone to make and review my list as I’m driving into work. You can also set an alarm to remind you at an opportune time, or go the old-fashioned route and stick a postcard on your bathroom mirror
Staying mindful of your self-defeating patterns is how you defeat them. This isn’t rocket science. It’s right there in the Bible. When the light shines, the darkness flees.